How To Navigate Intentional Friendships In High School

Friendships are such a blessing! I cannot imagine life without my closest girlfriends, who I all love and adore! My friends support me and keep me afloat – life is just so much better with friends who you trust!

How to choose good friends

Have you heard the saying, ‘you are the average of your five best friends?’ This saying is very true, because if you compare a girl to her friends, she if often very similar. Friends influence you for better or for worse, so it’s crucial to pick a good group of girls to do life with.

It’s important to be intentional about choosing friends. Who are the people around you that are building you up? Who are the people who are genuinely interested in getting to know you? Who are the people that you want to take advice from? Who are the people you want to be role models for you? These are the people you want as your closest friends. Girls that will love you on your good days and your bad days are keepers.

Last semester, I learned in health class about the “house” metaphor for friendship; you have a big house, and in the front yard are all the people you know, or aquanticies; on the front porch, you have the people you’re getting to know and “screening” to see if they’re people you want as best friends. Then, the ones you invite inside the house are your closest friends. The screening process is where you’re asking questions, getting to know them, observing them, and discovering if you want to invite them in. A good tip is to ask yourself how you feel after spending time with them. Are you energized? Do you feel joyful? Are you glad you were able to see them? If so, then this is a potential friend! Cultivate a close circle of dear friends with whom you can share real life things with.

How to be a good friend

• Be the friend you want to have! In other words, treat your friends with kindness, love, compassion, honesty, and humility. Give your friends the benefit of the doubt, because there’s always something going on that we don’t see; we only see the tip of the ice burg, and there is so much underwater (under wraps) that we don’t see.

• Go out of your way to be kind – even the smallest gestures are so meaningful! An encouraging message, a quick hug shows that you’re thinking about that person. One of my friends will sometimes message me during the day with a little note saying the sweetest things, and it makes my day every time!

• Address and resolve conflict as soon as it happens, don’t wait for it to “settle itself out”, because, usually, it doesn’t. Resolving conflict is a skill, and it takes practice. It takes courage to talk to your friend face to face, to share what you’re feeling, and to listen to your friend; it’s worthwhile because it strengthens friendships.

• Be vulnerable with your friends and open up about real things on your heart. Sometimes sharing something that you’re struggling with opens the door for conversations that strengthen you and connect you to your friend.
• Carve out time to see your friends whether that be a brunch date, a walk in your neighborhood, or a cookie decorating get-together. Find something to do with your friend that you’ll both enjoy, and make it happen! Quality time is one of the best gifts you can give something, and the best investment in friendship.

I hope this post has encouraged you in the good friendships you do have and pushed you to pursue more intentional friendships!

Warmly,

Seabrook

“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” – Romans 12:10